The Past Never Lets Go
by Drostste7
Summary: Bella has been sexually abused by Phil since she was little, leaving her forever traumatised. Will Edward, the school's most popular boy, be able to help her? Or will it be Bella who helps Edward solve his own little dark secret? temporary hiatus
1. Chapter 1

**Full summary:**

**Bella has been sexually abused by Phil since she was little. This made her afraid of men with a few exceptions. She met Edward, the school's most popular boy who just might be able to help her, but he has his own dark secret. Can the two of them heal each other before a time bomb kills them both?**

Chapter 1

_Bella POV_

I stared out the tall windows, clutching the handle even harder now. Taking a deep breath, I walked down the hallway where many people holding signs stood, waving and hollering. I shuddered as I passed by a man and tried to think positive. If the worst happened I could rush out and take some Prozac since I only had 1 today.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar voice call.

A smile broke onto my face as I slithered past a group of women—more safer than heading to the group with both genders—and ran into the arms of my father. It was strange—everyone else, I fainted or screamed or such, but my father's arms were the softest touch in the world.

"I missed you," he whispered. "How's Renee?"

I flinched at _that woman's_ voice. "She's good…"

To my relief, he didn't ask about The Monster. We both silently walked towards his car; a police car. I groaned inwardly but on the outside, I complimented on how shiny the car was. As Charlie put my bag in the trunk, I got into the passenger seat and put my seatbelt on. Before long we were driving towards the highway, towards Charlie's house.

"How was the flight?" he asked, filling in an awkward silence.

"It was good," I answered. "Though you didn't have to buy the business seat for me."

Charlie smiled. "Bells, it was the least I could do. I know you didn't want to come here since you left your friends over there so I wanted to do—"

"No," I interrupted. "I wanted to come here. Don't worry. I was waiting for such a long time to come."

Charlie, surprised by my sudden thoughts of loving Forks, and swelled his chest, like a proud frog. I laughed at the thought and hummed to 'The Lazy Song.'

"I heard that before," Charlie said, "On the radio. What's it called?"

"The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars," I informed him. "It's a really good song."

"Sing a little?" he asked, the question light and not meant to harm. But it did.

My smile disappeared and I looked out the window. It was so different from Arazona, but that was what she loved about it.

Charlie, obviously thinking I was going deaf, shouted, "Bella? Can you hear me?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to him. "Yes, dad, I can."

"So. Sing?" he smiled.

Instantly, I felt bad. Singing a little couldn't hurt, could it? After all, Charlie was _so innocent_. That woman and he had eloped, all her idea. And then she dumped him, taking me with her He went through all of that, so I owed him at least a few verses, right?

I coughed and pressed my palm against my chest:

"_Today I don't feel like doing anything_

_ I just wanna lay in my bed_

_ Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone_

_ 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything_

_ Nothing at all, nothing at all._"

Charlie chuckled. "That sounds like a song that expresses my feelings so well, only I can't really lay in bed. Got a town to look after!"

I smiled at his words. If only I had been with him and he had looked out for me… I shuddered and I felt a small spasm in my fingers. I glanced at Charlie and when he was looking, I reached into my bag and dry swallowed a pill. It wasn't instant, the relief, but it took a few seconds to register into my bloodstream. With this, I sighed and laid my head on the headrest. I wouldn't feel depressed for a few hours now.

"Wake me up when we get there…" my voice faded and I heard the soft laughter of my father as darkness drowned me.

_"Bella!" Jacob rushed over to hug me. "You're here!"_

_ Mama rushed me over to Jacob's side and she began to automatically gossip with Sarah. Jacob pulled me into his room where he showed me his collection of toys that he'd gotten from Billy. I had met him once when I had once gone over to Charlie's during the summer. He was a nice guy, but secretly, I was glad that he had a divorce so Jacob and I felt the same thing about the topic 'divorce.'_

_ Jacob was a good kid; we knew each other because our mother's had gone to the same high school and stayed best friends through marriage and divorce. This meant we knew each other forever and we had our own secret pranks and languages. Jake was one year older so he always pressed that against me whenever we played games._

_ "Let's play doctor!" Jacob smiled. "I'll be doctor and you be the patient."_

_ "Why am _I_ the patient?" I complained. "I want to be the doctor, Jake. Pleeease?"_

_ "I'm older so I get to start. In the next round you can be doctor," Jake waved off my complaint. "Okay, so let's start! Hi! Where does it hurt?"_

_ I frowned, searching for a place that stung or burnt. I pointed to my stomach and said 'here.' When Jake lifted it up, he gasped and his eyes searched for mine. I cocked my head to the side, confused._

_ "Bella—" he gulped. "It's bruised."_

_ "Yeah!" I smiled. "But that's what usually happens, right? The patient has to be sick so the doctor can fix them! Now, can I be doctor?"_

_ Jacob gripped hard onto my shoulders. "Bella who did this to you?"_

_ I tried to pry the nine year olds' fingers off of me, but it was no use. "Jakey, it hurts."_

_ "Answer me!" he shook me hard, making me bump into the wall. _

_ I wailed and the two women came into the room to see me crying with a big red bruise on the centre of my head._

_ "Jacob Black!" Sarah scolded. "Why did you do something like that?"_

_ That was the first time that I ever heard Jacob tell a lie and it was only until now that I understood. Besides the fact that Jake and I always played stupid, immature games until we were 13 and instead talked about our crushes, he was mature for his age; he always had been. So even at the age of 9, he knew what he had to do._

_ "Sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to hit her. We were only playing War and—and she was the prisoner."_

_ Sarah shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry, Renee, I don't know what to say about this idiot son of mine."_

_ This entire time, Mama had not even so glanced at my way. She had been on her iPhone, smiling as she continually texted who I called the 'devil' behind both his and her back. She looked up and waved her hand in the air._

_ "No, no, it's alright. It's all Bella's fault, anyways." She gripped my arm and squeezed it hard. I winced. "Isn't it, Bella?"_

_ "Yes," I muttered under my breath._

_ "Now." Mama stood up and laughed. "Let's go back. The children were having fun and us being here will only make things boring, am I correct?"_

_ Jake silently nodded while tears began forming in my eyes again. Mama always blamed it on me. I missed the Mama who used to cuddle by my side and read me bedtime stories as she brushed my hair—_

I felt someone push me and I moaned, rolling in my seat. I felt the seatbelt unclasped and my cheeks widen. My eyes shot open only to see that Charlie was stretching my cheeks, a playful grin on his face.

"We're here, Bells!" he grinned, moving away so I could get through the door.

I walked out and I was welcomed by the familiar house that I was always so happy to visit during the summer. This was my heaven, my peace… Almost like a sanctuary or a temple where I could get away from the devil's grasp.

"I missed you," I whispered as I heard Charlie grunting, taking the bag out of his trunk.

Charlie scurried along as he opened the door, pulling the bag behind him. I walked behind him, exploring the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and finally, my room.

It was a soft violet, and I remembered how the room itself shined when sunlight passed through the window and hit the walls. In the corner was the ever still table, and right beside it was my king size bed. It had dark blue bed cover and a white duvet. The pillows were grey-ish blue and the three of them laid against the headboard. Behind me, my suitcase thumped down and I turned around, smiling.

"It's still the same as when you were nine," Charlie scratched his head. "Except, uh, I changed a few things like the curtains."

I glanced back and saw pure white eyelet headings. Laughing, I faced Charlie again, and he was grinning too.

"Remember how we went to the mall and you kept whining you wanted those but we only went there to go grocery shopping so we didn't?" he winked. "Well, here you go."

I rushed in and hugged Charlie, surprising both of us. "Thanks dad."

"You're welcome." He pulled away and smiled at me. "Well, I'm gonna go watch t.v. You go ahead and unpack."

With that, he left the room and I quickly began sorting out my clothes, putting them in my closet. Lastly, I put my Mac on the table and a single photo on the corner. The CD player was put in the middle and I pushed my CD's onto an empty cabnet, my books on the shelves beside it.

I sat down on the chair and turned my Mac on, spinning around as I waited for it to load. When I saw it did, I checked my email and felt a smile appear on my face as I saw two certain unread messages. One was from Jacob and the other was from Blackjack.

I quickly chose the one from Blackjack first:

_Dear Red Paint,_

_ How are you? Was the move good? I heard Forks is a really green place, a lot different from Arizona! If you ever get a boyfriend, tell me so I can decide if he's good enough for you or not._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Blackjack_

Quickly, I eagerly typed my reply:

_Dear Blackjack_

_ I'm good! The move was easier than I thought it would be, but it'll definitely take days to get over for sure. Actually, you're right. I saw the scenery coming home and I couldn't wait to talk to you about it! I don't think any guy would actually like me, Black, though thanks for the worrying._

_ How's your sister? When is the operation? _

_ From,_

_ Red Paint_

Hesitantly, my mouse reached over towards 'SEND' and pressed it.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie call. "Come down for a sec'!"

Deciding that I would check Jacob's email later, I thumped down the stairs, staring at the photos of the younger version me that hung on the wall, the brightest smile on my face. It seemed I was about five; way before I knew That Monster.

"What is it?" I asked, and he whipped around, hiding something from me. "Charlie…?"

"Er—" Charlie gave me a nervous smile as he tucked whatever it was in his back pocket. "What do you want for dinner?"

I cocked my eyebrow, wanting to know a little more, but ignored it. "Mmm… Pizza?"

"Sure. I'll order." He pushed up back towards the stairs. "Well, you can go back now. I'll call you down when it comes. The usual?"

Nodding, I headed up the stairs, and as soon as I shut the door, I paused. What was I going to do…? I noticed the pile of pictures in a box that were right next to my door. Slowly, I took them out. Most of them were me with Jacob as children. When I noticed there was one left, I pulled it out and I froze. This one was one with Renee.

She was young, in this photo, even younger with the makeup that she wore in the present. Renee was beautiful and she was smiling, holding me. Beside her was Charlie, who was also laughing. Charlie had put his arm around Renee and a small hand on the me who was four years old. We looked so happy… Tears unconsciously dripped down my face.

What had happened? What had I done wrong as a child for those two to break up? What did I do to deserve what had happened to me so far?

Silently, I put the photo back in the box and wiped my tears. No matter what, I was going to go for a fresh start now, ignoring the past. But I didn't know that sooner or later, the past would come back for me.


	2. Letter To You All

Hello everyone,

It's true— I haven't uploaded a chapter of this story since the beginning of time, and I'm really, really sorry for that. I've been so busy because I'd moved to a new school, and I have 3 APs, SAT I and II, and more to study for.

Just like I've been doing with, or will do soon with, all the other stories, I'm rewriting everything and making it _better. _I'm going to take down everything and put up a better, more mature version of what I have now. The new version will be out _very soon_.

Again, I'm really sorry everyone.

Much Love,

- Drostste7


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